This week is the one-year anniversary of the car accident and subsequent recovery. I’ve noticed this past year that the same focus and attention you need to be successful in business is applicable when you need to recover from any of life’s situations.
When crises like this happen, they sure put real-life into perspective. Thankful that my recovery continues to progress, I’ve found myself reflecting on a few things I’ve discovered from this past year. Here are three lessons learned:
First, if you have been blessed with good health and energy, be grateful every day because you’re already far ahead of the game. Show appreciation everyday. Express love and gratitude to your family and friends. Hug your kids. Smile. Enjoy the moments of life.
Second, give yourself grace and accept help from your support team. Being independent business people it can sometimes be hard to accept help and support from others. Your network of family and friends can be incredibly helpful during these times.
Talk to more than one expert and find out as much as you can about the situation from a variety of sources. Professionals may give excellent advice, but they do not know everything. So, take your time—do your research and you will know which decisions to trust. It was only last week, I finally got a diagnosis on the cause of the continued vertigo. Finally, don’t learn the hard way, leverage the experience of others. People are happy to help and to share lessons learned.
Third, it is far too easy to fall into "professional victim-hood" when life doesn’t go as planned. You do not always get to decide what affects you in life—you only get to choose how it affects you and the effect you make on life.
I am not suggesting that all victims are not real. I was a victim of a car accident, but that is not the label I’ve given myself, it just is… I am writing about people who choose the mindset of victimization. They tend not to see the choices they make that lead them into their current situation or make any choices to get themselves out of a situation. Professional victims justify even their everyday choices, actions, inactions, and failures.
If you’ve ever come across a “professional victim” they are hard to forget. If you know a professional victim refuse to play their game. Your sympathy only enables them to not ever have to make the choice to change. As harsh as it may sound, they have to choose to change. You cannot do it for them.The stories they tell always make others responsible for their lot-in-life. They use exaggerations, deceit and even lies to become the victim of their story, all the while doing harm to others without accepting any responsibility, shame or guilt.
Embrace reality. Accepting what is, as it just is, is the start of healing—refusing to be stuck or labeled is the key to true recovery and long-term success.
Have a great day in whatever your adventure,
To Success! To Life!
p.s. I want to take just one more moment to again publicly thank those that rallied around. Your help, thoughts and prayers are always an encouragement.
p.p.s. Early into the recovery, my dear friend Susan shared with me Bryon Katie’s book, Loving What Is. This book gives a straightforward way to put the trying moments in life into perspective. It can be found at www.thework.com
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