Believe me—it was like a hostile takeover

Have you ever let something take over your day? Well, that happened to me Monday, and I let it spill into Tuesday… 48 hours of “stewing.” Here it is late Wednesday and I’m writing Best Impressions. No time for editing… so we are flying solo folks — none of my editor Lola’s great comments like “Huh?” or “What are you trying to say?”

So fasten your seat belts…

I received an email early Monday morning and I allowed it to consume my whole day (actually two days). I had other work to get done, clients to work with and in general, things to do. Instead, I spent the entire day crafting my response — it was as long as “War and Peace.”

Yes, I was smart enough not to send it. That is one of the problems with email, it is too easy to send — after two days thought, I narrowed it down to 65 perfect words.

The obsession that this email had on me was like a mental magnet — an uncontrollable focus in my mind. Looking back, it is interesting how I let this fixation consume my entire mental existence — leaving little room for anything else. Obviously not the best use of my time.

I now have some fences to mend with others as I was not working for 2 days from a place of complete cognitive thought. I violated one of my own highest expectations of myself—being in the moment with each person I talk to.

The reason I’m telling this story on myself is that email seems to be taking over a large part of our communication with others, including loved ones. The problem with email is that it is void of all the non-verbals. Non-verbals make up over 90% of human communication. No wonder there is miscommunication with email when we are only getting about 10% of what is being expressed.

No matter what your intention is… no matter how many ;-) you add, what you write in email is read from the frame of mind of the reader, not the sender. It is so easy to misunderstand what is actually being said. Like so many other things in life, it’s not the intention, it is how it was received. I know, we can all point to other times when we knew exactly what was on the sender’s mind.

My friend Matt, a great organizational development coach (FYI, just in case you need one) has a wonderful saying that he uses with his executive mentees, “Never say with email, what should be said in person.” So true, perhaps my Monday email sender would have gotten a better response if the news had been delivered another way…

Have a great day in whatever your adventure,

To Success! To Life!
Sharon

The top 10 email faux-paus that drive me crazy—

And your point would be…? Be concise. Get to the point. Answer all the questions the first time. Don’t make me ask again.

You halve a spell chequer. It comes with your Pea Sea. Plz don’t abbrvt. FYI—U 2 can take the time to write the entire word. THX. Use proper spelling, grammar and punctuation.

Psst! Did you know… Do not use email to discuss confidential information. You would be amazed at the number of servers your emails are archived on forever.

This one is just arrogant and annoying, if it’s that important call me or send it certified mail. Do not request delivery and read receipts.

Don’t use that tone with me, missy… Try for respectful, friendly and approachable, the right tone via email is a tough one.

;-) -- :-) -- :-( No emoticons in business emails. Emoticons are fine in the right context. Use your judgment.

Where, oh where, has my email gone…Oh where, oh were could it be? Answer quickly. Try for no more than 48 hours.

WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING AT ME?! Do not write in CAPITALS, unless you are shouting.

This one is so annoying I will not even attempt to demonstrate the run-on sentence and the long paragraphs in email that make it so hard to read that the reader gets lost and determines that nothing is harder to read on a computer screen then run-on sentences in a paragraph that seems like it will go on forever.

Most important. Read the email before you send it. Does it really say what you want it to say? If you are not sure, have someone else read it or take a break and reread it later before you hit send.

A printable Action Quote pdf—Email.pdf

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